Animal jokes
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.