Animal jokes
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
The butt quack one.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.