Animal jokes
JAW don't know sh*t!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
About a dog.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What can fly?
Bird.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.