Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Animal Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat π that is glued down? A big cluck.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Sheep want to wool the world :)
