Animal

Animal jokes

"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"