What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
