Animal jokes
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?
.......... To moo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"