Animal jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!