Animal jokes
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?
Comment down below!
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
What happened to watersharky?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
WAAAAAAAAAATERSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKY!
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.