Animal jokes
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
What happened to watersharky?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
WAAAAAAAAAATERSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKY!
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call gulls in the sea? Seagulls!
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because they have smelly feet!
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."