Ani jokes

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.

If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

Anyone remember the following?

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

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"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"