Analog jokes

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.

Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.

Cancer is like a video game.

Some people cannot beat it.

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

I like my women how I like my fridge. In the kitchen.

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

Sex is like math.

You add a bed.

Subtract the clothes.

Divide the legs.

And pray you don’t multiply.