Always jokes
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
I will not stop the Hazbin Hotel/HB memes!
"I will Always Love You!"
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(