Always jokes
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
Memes
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.