Always jokes
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
Memes
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)