Always jokes
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Memes
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.