Always jokes
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!