Always jokes
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.