Who need April 1st if your whole life is already a lie ༼⍨༽
why is america bad at chess, we already lost two towers
me: can i get ur mom number? friend: here u go: me: ohh strange i already had it.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That's means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”
I would tell a dad joke but it already left me
Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one.
So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...
KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?
KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant. Dad: well is she already part of the family? Son: Yes, why? Dad: then there’s no need to be worried.
why can't emos have add
cus they are already scatter brained
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No because they already are on one
My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"
I heard you were looking for a stud... I already have the STD, all I need is u.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide ? You can't do anything he's already on line
Gf:Hi
Bf:Hi
Gf:did you eat yet
bf:did you eat yet?
Gf:are you copying me?
Bf:are you coping me??
Gf:i love you
Bf:yeah i ate already
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas
