Already Jokes

it's not that i dont get the laugh but most of you need to read thru what's already been posted cause everybody's saying the same shit.

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him", so i couldn't do a fatality. I was confused but i understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die. But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I wont die because the potato is already dead and cant attack my immune system.

"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes

Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with there dad than there mom?

They already know that there dad is gonna get " Milk " and never return

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.

Why you can't kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids but they already did

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

There was a kid named buttitches and his teacher was taking attendance. then the teavher asked"what is your name"? And he answered "buttitches" Then the teacher asked again "what's your name" and he replied buttitches. Then a student yelled out "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY"!!

So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”