Already Jokes

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him", so i couldn't do a fatality. I was confused but i understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with there dad than there mom?

They already know that there dad is gonna get " Milk " and never return

Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?".The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off.".

Why you can't kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids but they already did

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any ideea how much I hate playing monopoly with my dad.

There was a kid named buttitches and his teacher was taking attendance. then the teavher asked"what is your name"? And he answered "buttitches" Then the teacher asked again "what's your name" and he replied buttitches. Then a student yelled out "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY"!!

Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat~!

Why is USA so bad at chess

Because they already lost two towers

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

I would roast you but your already so hot.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”