Airplane jokes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
I want to be a pilot.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.