Age jokes

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

Why did an old man fall in a well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.