Age jokes

What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?

There's twenty of them.

In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈