Age jokes
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!