Age jokes

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.