I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
