Age jokes

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.

If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Who is the least young Dave?

Dave-on.

Who is the oldest Dave?

Daveon.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.