I have a question, does aging affect corpses too? just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
When people ask my age, this is what I do
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Me when people ask how old my Girlfriends are: There 2 their 4 their 6 their 8.
Officer don’t arrest me she said she was 5 in dog years
when you’re 34, it’ll be 420 months before u turn 69 yrs old
I came I across a pic of the oldest man on earth on ig , he was 132 years old. I commented age is just a number for him now I'm banned.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
In a deep village in Germany old man asked his granddaughter "what are you doing?". His granddaughter replies "removing polish with chemicals". Grandpa said when I was younI did the same.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
ur mum so old that when i told her to act her age, she died
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age. It was really heavy on me.
I had sex with my German gf, it was kinda weird tho, she kept yelling her age. Idk why.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
doctors in the middle ages, Plague doctor: "i must have some herbs to block out bad air" docters now: "God, wtf were we doing back then"
if her age is on the clock she can sit on my cock
