Age jokes

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Who is the least young Dave?

Dave-on.

Who is the oldest Dave?

Daveon.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?

They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.

The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”

The bartender says, “No, only women.”

The man then leaves.

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."