Age jokes
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.