Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
