Aed jokes
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.