Aed jokes
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
There are women complaining about being r@ped.
JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Letter A lmao xd 😂😂😂😂
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.