Aed jokes
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.