Aed jokes
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Your dad's a cunt.
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
He's a Fortnite kid, haha!
What is a monkey with a head?
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
Have a good day tomorrow!
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
What is black and white and sits in a tree?
A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
If you're a crucified savior, clap your hands.
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.