Aed jokes
Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
What is an orphan's least favorite show?
"Fuller House."
This is not even a joke.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
A man walks into a bar and then out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop.
A-I eat mop who?
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.