Aed jokes
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
There has to be a connection
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".