Aed jokes

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."

What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?

My dick.

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.