Aed jokes

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?

Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!

Plagiarism!

What do you call a crease join?

Hahaha

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.

Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

Just looking for a cunt...

Oh hello, found one.

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.