Aed jokes
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
This is a bad day for me.
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?