Aed jokes
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.