Aed jokes

I'm a human.

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.

Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.

How do you be friends with a musician?

B minor.

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

What do you do when you see a wiener dog?

I like you wiener.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.