Aed jokes

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?

A: "Free Fallin'"

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?

Because they can't add a home page.

Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

What is brown and sticky? A stick!

Why do people play soccer?

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

Nobody:

JFK: :) Hi guys!

JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.

What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?