Aed jokes
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Two urchins, L. H. A. B.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
I did have a good [time].
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”