Aed jokes

What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?

Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.

What weapon does a fat Jedi use?

A heavy saber.

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!

Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!

Will: Yey!

Beverly: What should we bring him?

Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!

How do you eat a meat?

You steak it in your mouth.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Why did the blonde run outside naked?

She thought the steam was a gas leak.

Why was Mozart a child prodigy?

All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?

It doesn't know jack.