Aed jokes
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
It would just be easier to be a gay guy, instead of a gender-fluid bisexual.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?
My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”
So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!