Aed jokes

Isn't there a software company named after your dick?

Microsoft?

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

Q: What kinda bees give milk?

A: Boobees.

How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?

By squeezing his way in.

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Replace the v in Venus with a p.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?

The Emo hangs himself.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.