Aed jokes
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"