Aed jokes
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
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Why did a bisexual man wanted a physically handicapped ♿ 👨💼 👨 👬 gay man to give him a anonymous blowjob under the stall inside the men'restroom 🚻 🚹 at a restarea? because getting a blowjob from a call girl 👧 cost $75.00 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.