Aed jokes

What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?

Dodge the coat hanger!

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?

A: An American.

What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?

What gives you the power to walk through a wall?

A door.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

Where does a French cat live?

- In Purr-is

OR

- In the Catacombs

OR

- In a chat-eau.

What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?

I don't know. I forgot.

Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?

Because they both split away from their family.

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!

What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?

One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.