Aed jokes
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.