Aed jokes
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."