Aed jokes
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
I want to be a pilot.