Aed jokes
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Can I get a Hoyah?
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?