Aed jokes
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"