Aed jokes

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

I made a website for orphans.

It doesn't have a home page.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.

Make this the most liked comment!

(I'm a girl btw)

;)

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.

How do bees go to school?

They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."