Aed jokes
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
You are a fat pig.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
You got a pig head!
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!