Aed jokes
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!