Aed jokes
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀