Aed jokes

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?

"ADDRESS!"