Aed jokes

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Rot in hell?

More like nasty-ass thot in a well.

I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

They made a movie about 9/11.

It was a big hit.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.