Aed jokes
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
What's green and bad for your teeth?
A green brick.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.