Aed jokes
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.