Aed jokes
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?
Friend: But you're an orphan.
Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."