Aed jokes

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

What's the difference between an orange?

A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Why did the child cross the road?

Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.