Aed jokes
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
Peter Griffin's chin.
Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.