Aed jokes
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.