Aed jokes
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"