Aed jokes

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

What has a head and tail but no legs?

A penny.

How do you execute a retard?

The Electric Wheelchair.

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw.

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.

Why?

The kid had no legs.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?

Drugs.

What do you call a washed vegetable?

A disabled kid that needs a towel.

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

What do you call a bum person with a brain?

A hillbilly.

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2